How gay sexuality claims to have changed the world

(Ed: From the launch of God, Gays and the Church.)

[...] God, Gays and the Church is not a monolithic entity but in fact has different views, themes, approaches and priorities. One of mine is the conviction that a profound cultural sea change is now taking place. Over the last four decades, it has been revolutionizing sex and marriage, first behind the scenes and increasingly in the public sphere. However, given that most of us are in relatively conservative middle class settings, we have not realised how high the tide has risen. Among other things I would hope this book might serve as something of a wake-up call - particularly for the sake of our children and grandchildren who will pay in full the cost of this sexual revolution.

Radical sociologist, Anthony Giddens, argues in The Transformation of Intimacy (1992) that gays and lesbians have been the ‘prime everyday experimenters’, the ‘pioneers’ of two developments which fuel this revolution. The first is the ‘pure relationship’ - non-hierarchical sexual and emotional intimacy, no strings attached. Autonomy is paramount. We choose! Some of our relationships might mirror marriage, while others won’t. But critically, there is no right or wrong way to ‘do’ relationships. The second is ‘plastic sexuality’, which means we develop our sexuality as an image, a persona. It’s not at all about babies, and it might connect to our relationships, or not. Again, we choose.

For gay writer, Gareth West, ‘We know that a 30-year relationship is no better, no better, than a nine-week, or nine-minute, fling — it’s different, but not better. Both have value. We know that the instant intimacy involved in that perfect 20-minute blowjob (oral sex) in Stanley Park can be a profoundly beautiful thing … Love, in gay culture, is a spectrum, not a hierarchy … Queers (his term) form loving relationships, that’s for sure. But they’re not the same as … marriage relationships. Instead of demanding the same straight jacket … we would do better to notice that so very many straights are learning from our culture, are rejecting and leaving marriage.’

The erosion of marriage in favour of the ‘pure relationship’ and in particular, of cohabitation, is apparent in the recent British Social Attitudes Survey. Cohabitation is flourishing while marriage is in trouble. Read more

No comments will be posted without a full name and location, see the policy.