Saturday, 10 November 2007

Next stop, polyamory

For some time now, a few voices have been trying to make the point that the sexual revolution of the 60s - inaugurated by our now well-established LG (and now BT) communities - is still in the early days. We have not begun to reach the terminus of where this current is taking us. Individual groups - e.g. the LGBTs - have almost made it to Home Base and are out and proud! Next in line, of course, though, are the polys, the polyamorists, who note and admire the success of the LGBT communities and would like to enjoy a bit of it themselves. I keep coming across the narratives of polys who claim they are not wired for monogamy - it simply does not work for them! - and who then embrace lifestyles involving multiple committed sexual relationships. They claim these do work, though some of the narrative is less than convincing. The really interesting thing about this growing phenomenon is that no one need ‘lose’ - old, tried-and-true relationships are not discarded, just ‘added to’. Some seem able to cope with the jealousy; for others this is just a trendy 2007 variation on the perennial theme of adultery. And the children? Well, they are not really on anyone’s radar; this is most definitely not about them.

The Gay City News, ‘When Three’s No Crowd’, of 25 October 2007, describes NYC’s recent Poly Pride Weekend:

‘But the purpose of the pride weekend went beyond cuddling and coupling. For many, the politics of polyamory are fraught with discord. Justen Bennett-Maccubbin, the mohawked founder of Polyamorous NYC, said that there is sometimes friction between the gay and polyamorous communities.

“Polyamory is just as much an orientation as being gay,” said Bennett-Maccubbin, who started his first polyamorous relationship when he fell in love with a gay couple at 19.

“But a lot of the gay community isn’t down with it. In the last decade, they have made a lot of strides toward acceptance and normalcy, and they don’t necessarily want to be associated with other marginalized groups.” Read more
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